She is said to have stayed in her rooms for some time before her abdication, consulting with her priest.  The sincerity of her conversion has been questioned. In 1651, the Jesuit Paolo Casati had been sent on a mission to Stockholm in order to gauge the sincerity of her intention to become Catholic. Much speculation has centered on the reasons for her abdication. Was it so that she could openly practice her Catholic faith? Was it so that she could openly live as a man? Was it so that she could indulge in lesbian relationships without the censure of her Council? Was it because she wanted to walk on a wider stage? Was it to pursue her intellectual and cultural interests without the heavy and burdensome responsibilities of rule? There is some evidence that she always planned to seek out and occupy a more prestigious throne even though she clearly had no plan of action. Was it because, as a Queen in the prime of life, many would see her abdication as an enigmatic act without any ready explanation? Did she abdicate because she could, and even wanted to shock the world? Dressed in men's clothes and calling herself Count Donha (the name of one of her companions), she departed from Sweden. As she crossed over to the Danish side of a stream, she exclaimed "free at last."  . She rarely if ever again dressed as a woman, tending to cross-dress. She loved to strap a sword to her side. She deepened her voice when speaking.